The heart of a woman....

Last night we cooked dinner. It was interesting. As I sat down at the dinner table, everyone talking and enjoying the meal, I had a sudden memory. It reminded me of when a bunch of us were just like that. Morris, Erika, Syliva, Alyx, Omar, Herby, & Rudy. I remembered the days when we would gather like a little family and eat dinner or hangout until the wee hours of the night. It felt nice last nice to have that "family" feeling again. It's different for me since I don't have any family to see on a daily basis. Eating by yourself and being alone gets kinda boring after a while. Dinner was delicious. Conversations were humorous.

As we were hanging out cooking, I realized that I have the silly heart of a woman. I love cooking & being feminine. I really do, lol. I'm the type of girl who longs to be submissive to someone. I want to be able to express this form of love to someone. Liza and I were talking about it the other day. I want to do it without being told. That really upsets me if the guy acts like a jerk and demands of the woman. He deprives her of her ability to express a type of love that is unlike any other. Let her want or desire to please him and serve him. I really want to do that. Over the past few years, I've realized I have a lot of motherly characteristics about me. I think I learned it from my mom. She was like that a lot, and I guess maybe it just rubbed off me a little. One of the good qualities I got from her. lol
Nate thinks it's cool how I love to cook. He says it's admirable. On top of being his "favorite" person and his "hero times 2," lol, I think I liked that comment the most. Unfortunately, he's beginning to know me a little too well...knows I don't like being told what to do. I said "I want to be in the kitchen as long as I'm not told to be in the kitchen" and then proceeded to walk towards the kitchen. Jerk replies "get in the kitchen Erika." As he expected, I turned around and walked right back outside. I'm glad he gets a kick out of my stubborness. lol. At least someone does. haha

Anyways, Long blog short, I really do like being a woman. I think despite some of the hard parts of being a woman, I am really glad I'm able to be that. It's going to get here someday, I still believe that. I'm gonna be able to show someone this love....and it'll be a great desire coming from my heart. Thank God He placed this inside of me. :)