5pm nonesense

I started regretting my decision last night....
my decision to stay up like a crazy college student until wee hours of the night.
I haven't really been doing this a lot recently...at least since i've been back home.
I was in brownsville as of yesterday....had "a really important meeting" to attend. Putting quotes on that was by no means a way of saying that it wasn't important...i was just quoting the person. It was important.

anyways....

hung out with some friends last night and didn't go home until 4 something in the AM. Got back...we started talking some more when we got back home...and I had class at 9am. I only slept 3 hours. I was soooooooo tired. So after class we got back and i fell asleep again.
I hate the sense of feeling like i missed out on my day...but then again..i LOVE sleeping! :)


I found out 2 days ago that I CAN'T graduate in december! what the fluffy pancakes?!! I sat in front of the adviser with tears accumulating around my eyes. I kept telling myself NOT to cry. lol. pretty sad picture. Yeah, so i'm missing ONE freakin hour! I couldn't believe it! So now...i'm tryng to decide what i'm going to do in the mean time. I'm so close to giving up on school....i even told her that. She looked at me with an akward glance......like I was stupid or something. I guess the thought was pretty stupid. I've been at utb for my 5th year. That keeps reminding me how old I am...and how i have yet to start my life. klasjdfkjsdlkfjklasdjf!!11

I was thinking the past few days that...
i hate how it's so hard to be JUST someone's friend. Why can't there be NO expectations....just friends. gah! A dear friend of mine said...."well tell him you just want to be friends"
All i could think of is....why do i even have to state that at all?? I haven't promised anything to anyone...and don't usually go into these things saying "hey...you're cool. but i just want to be friends. that's it." How lame is that! I guess i'm pretty peeved at the thought of it.



I still think of someone from time to time. But it's so much different now when I think of him. He's become part of "just something that happened in my life" I hope that doesn't sound jerkish...but it's true. I'm glad that God has me where He has me, and I have a lot of hope these days. I'm pretty happy. I think it has a lot to do with being away. I like it....but i guess it has it's downsides. I'm excited for MY future....but I just want to get the heck out of school. I know there's not much for me here in the valley. I know it's NOT my home. I'm still asking God where that is...He'll tell me...soon enough. :)


Bon wants my attention, so I have to go now. ;)
(you know you want me bon, admit it!)