The rains of Your Love

Yesterday marked one week since I've been gone from good old browntown (that phrase said with much force =/ )
I've had an amazing time up here...probably like i've already mentioned in a previous blabber of my blogs. :)

So basically I'm leaving here in two days. I'm SO glad I came. I needed this little get-a-way with The One & Only. I guess in the past year, I sort of lost part of who I was. I was warned, graciously, but I guess I chose to be ignorant to that warning. Thank God for God.

During my time here, Father told me many many things that He loved about me. I think I started forgetting those little things. I've had too many reasons (given by my environment and situations) to make me believe very much otherwise. But He gave me my hope back again. Just when I was about to let go completely, He reached into the innermost parts of who I am, and He gave me my identity back. Parts of me are scared as heck to live out my calling....but He keeps telling me it's going to be ok. So....I'm trusting you God...really, I am.

On a bonus note:
There's this internship called "The Call"
I talked to Brian Kim yesterday, and I with ev.thing that has already been confirmed through God, I'm pretty sure that in a year and half I'm moving up to KC. I've decided to work as a teacher for that time before and save up enough money to take on this journey that God is calling me to.
I realized yesterday that I'm totally not ready to take that on right now. Good thing I don't have the money, because If I did, I'd so humanly make that decision without God's OK. I know that already. haha


I'm not so sure about the whole doctor thing anymore. I've been thinking that for a couple of years now. I actually kinda surprised myself with that idea when it popped into my memBRAIN. :)
I don't really care what anyone says. I know that EVERYONE and their mothers were expecting me to do this, but I'm not so sure it's part of the plan anymore.
I remember last year I snuck into this conference in galveston during my summer program, and they did this alter call for people who believed they were destined to do full time ministry. My thoughts were....well...i was flabbergasted. (best word I could think of...because I was just that). My feeble mind couldn't comprehend how someone could possible be ok with giving their entire lives to full time ministry. I thought they were crazy.
BUT...now I find myself pulling toward the Anna Calling in my life. I desire nothing more than to give my whole life to God. I kinda knew this was going to happen one day...might have just been in denial.


My life was meant for this nation. My soul and heart cry out at just the thought of people perishing in this world. I want to lay my life down to give God glory for who He is. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I want to be radical. I am radical. These longings were planted far before I even existed....it's part of my being.


~to be continued.....