Rising

Last night was nice.

God is good.

That was the topic of the discussion last night. A room full of almost strangers, all of whom life has treated differently. Some admitted to being scared to believe that statement, some never able to deny it.

My turn came around (I almost felt like I was in an AA meeting. lol). The only thing that resounded in my spirit was "always and forever." They kept saying it..."God is good," and all I kept hearing inside me was "always and forever." I tried explaining why I believed this statement was true. It wasn't hard to explain. It's not because I've always heard that phrase or bc people tell me to believe it, or I feel I have to believe it. I just truly do. It's in His character, it's in His nature. Every single thing that God has ever done throughout history is proof of His goodness. I can read about it, witness it, or whatever, but it IS true.
Some people can look at my life history and think I've had an unfortunate story growing up. I don't. I acknowledge that God has always been there in every situation, every moment. He's the One who has me where I am today. Even if I don't get what I want in life, even if I don't get prayers answered and I don't see life going my way. I want to be humbly His. I want all selfishness inside me to diminish. Yes, the impatient and disappointed part of me come from time to time, but nonetheless, I'm still always His and will wait if I have to. I don't want to want the things that God doesnt want for me. He's sees a bigger picture in the end. He's sees many things I can't see. That gives me hope though, bc knowing that He knows what's in store for me seems to ease my soul. My mind says "as long as someone knows, then I'm safe." lol. & who better than the God Almighty :)

I spent the afternoon in the prayer room. It was amazing. I woke up yesterday feeling like I just wanted to soak in His presence. Well, I was able to and it was awesome. I literally laid on the floor and just let Him love on me. I don't know know how I was down and out, but losing track of time while being with Him is always great.

"It's gonna be worth it. It's gonna be worth it in the end. The moment I see your face, it's gonna be worth it."

-God hear the cries of my heart. Hear the longings I have for you. I know that in the end of this life....it's gonna be worth it. All the turmoil, all the pain, all the fighting violently....when I get to see Your beautiful face...it'll all be worth it. <3