Does love really wait?

My schedule is so crazy since work started. I don't have many friends to talk to...and I keep hoping that they understand how hectic everything has been. I hate feeling like a bad friend, but this transition in my life is just so much for me. I love work. I love my kids, even when they are being pains in my butt! haha. But seriously, my job is so satisfying. I really do feel that I'm making a difference in their lives, and that is an amazing feeling. Some days are hard, and yes, I still come home at times and cry. But at the end of the day and your walking down the hall to go home, and kids are yelling " I love you Ms. ELizondo!"...it just melts your heart. I love them so much...i feel like I have 120 kids of my own. hhaa. it's even weirder bc I'm still so young. SO...that's how work is going. :)


Now...for my love story: Things are getting more involved. I'm still falling in love every single day. It's crazy. I had this idea yesterday that I feel like it's possible to love this guy forever. I know it hasn't been super long that we've been involved, but it's happening so fast! for the both of us! He spilled his heart to me last night as we munched out on pizza. lol. Told me how he's always thinking about me and can't take me out of his mind. He's in class teaching and little things I do pop into his head. :) Even science nerdy techniques I do...he changes from his old methods to mine! He treats me sooo good. He spoils me every single day and I love it! I'm still so scared though. What if this doesn't work out. what if we're both giving and giving and giving our hearts, and it goes no where. He wants to be with me....he can see himself marrying me, but I can't understand why he's still waiting to make it official with me. I'm having the hardest time waiting, but he told me last night that he loves how I'm being soooo patient about it all. It shows him more of my character and willingness to wait for him. If only he know what was going on inside me!! lol. I knew he was coming...i really did. I felt it deep down. He's everything I want and maybe a little more. He's the exact image of what I've always asked for in a guy. Even down to the little selfish things I want. He's white, blue eyes, taller than me, super funny, super goofy, wants to be a doctor, was a bio major too, and went to the same HIGH SCHOOL and college as me! Sometimes I think I'm in a dream. How can something so random but not random happen to me? I'm praying that I don't get too attached yet...bc we've admitted that we both are. He was here yesterday for 8 whole hours after work. That's crazy!! Time flies and we don't even notice it. lol.
Anyways...I just felt like expressing all these feelings I'm holding inside. No one really knows much bc I don't have a lot of ppl around to tell. It feels good to just release it. :)

Thanks for reading blogger friend :D

Music notes beat through my heart

I love music. I can sit in my room and soak it up and be so tranquil and just be. I love it so much. Almost too much. I feel it through my body. I feel like it's part of me. Weird...i don't know when exactly this happened, but it did. Lately, it's been where I run when I've had too much. Probably shouldnt be like that, but it is. I'm going tonight to hear this awesome DJ Shawn Mitiska. I'm a little excited and little scared. My kids will be there...hopefully no one sees me. haha.

On a different note, I've been doing really good about my heart situation. I think I'm getting tired of waiting and he saw that in me today. I'm just gonna keep living and moving and breathing. I don't want anyone to stop me or slow me down. Being w/o him is ok. :)

When did I fall?

I didn't mean to. I really didn't ever expect to either.
But here I am...standing with a whole left where my heart used to be. I think I want it back. I'm scared, really scared. I didn't expect to fall for him. Weirdest part is that we're like the same person...only we're not. I love everything about him. Even the cockiness of his personality. The only thing is that I'm not sure that either of us is ready for this right now in our lives. How do u fall in love with someone and know perfectly well you shouldn't be? I'm so confused. He's asking me to wait for him. How long is that though? how long does he need to continue his lifestyle that I want out? I need to make some really tough decisions. I need to decide if its worth staying for. What if he does the same thing to me that he's done to her. What if his commitment is never really a commitment? Gosh...i wish love wasn't so scary. I need wisdom. I need to stop giving myself to him until I'm sure he's the one I need to be giving it to. WIsh i could fast foward time. ::sigh::